Monday, January 01, 2007

Free at last! Free at last!....and some other stuff

The Pharaoh has finally let my people go! Hallelujah & Praise the LORD! My family is officially lice-free!! Does anyone want to know the secret to getting rid of these horrible things? Okay, it wasn't all the poisionous toxins, it wasn't the continuous washing of everything not nailed down, it wasn't lysoling everything til it's dripping with ethanol, it wasn't saturating our heads in olive oil for 8 hours straight, and it sure wasn't the crying and the stomping around. It was prayer and a whole lotta combing with the expensive metal lice combs for 3 days and then a follow up every 3 or 4 days. Yup. So simple. There was no need to do all that other crap. Do you know how much RID & NIX made off my family alone?? I should buy stock in those darn companies! They should be sending me thank you notes for the employees' christmas bonuses! They should come out with a new line of solution named after my kids! There should be a scholarship to LICE College established in honor of the Chavez family! I should get a VIP card with frequent delicer miles or something. I should....okay, I ran out, but I think you get the gist of what I am trying to say here. Totally ridiculous! That's money I could have spent on other stuff like adding to my collection of broken coffee cups. Okay, okay, I don't really have a broken coffee cup collection, but I totally could. Anyway, I just kinda wanted to get that out there, the good news I mean.

Another thing that is kind of on my mind is (yes, you guessed it) Marcos. Yes, yes I know. He is a total loser. Why it took 7 years for me to figure this out, I have no clue. I am more angry now that I didn't see it earlier than I am about anything else now. Well, that and the way he acts like being a father is a thing that can be turned off or whatever. GGGRRRRRR! (that was me growling, not choking or getting my 'g' and 'r' keys stuck with caps lock on) Yesterday when I woke up I was thinking about how the kids are starting school this week and so they will be seeing even less of their father because his two days off are on Monday and Tuesday every week. So I called him to see if he would like them to stay the night with him since it will be their last chance for a while. Marcos' response: "Well, I plan on getting really f***ed up and I don't want kids there with me getting drunk." What freaking planet is this guy from? What in his little brain makes him think I WANT to know that? I just said, "Yeah, okay, that's too much information and I gotta go." I know the way I was feeling right then wasn't real christian and I am working on that. I just felt like punching him. Anywho, me and the kids had fun anyway. Amanda rented like 9 movies and we watched them all. We had cheese sticks and chicken nuggets to eat. Although, sadly, I have to admit that the kids stayed up later than I did. I am such a wuss now! I was actually glad that they stayed home because whenever they leave, I just feel so empty.

Yet another topic. I do NOT like animals; especially cats or dogs. Their hair ends up on everything, makes my allergies act all crazy, and they're always wanting something like to eat, or go outside or something! Anyway, yesterday there was a cat oustide my house harrassing (i call it harrassing but the kids call it playing or whatever) the kids when they were riding their bikes. The cat seriously would not leave. I finally let it inside (i'm a sucker for the kids) and gave it some balogna and water. Then Amanda and I took the kids on a walk/bike ride (it's walk/bike ride because amanda and i both do not own bikes so we had to walk while the kids sorta rode their bikes while they weren't running into each other, curbs, plants, etc etc) to the Dollar Store. Amanda bought cat food and a water/food dish and I got it a collar with a bell. It totally hates the collar but at least I know where it is at now. So now we have a cat that drives my allergies crazy. Yeah..... Oh!!!!!! I bet you can't guess what the kids named it!! I will give you a hint: It's a woman's name from a VERY famous modern sci-fi movie that loosely represents Jesus' life. Whoever can guess right get's a $5 bill!!!!! Yay! I love excitement!


the_a_team said...

OK so I know the name of this vermon, uh I mean cat. Do I still get the $5?

JesusFreak said...

No, because you were there when we named it. Geez! This is a serious competition ma'am!

ericaprosser said...

Trinity the cat?

Congrats on the de-lousing! Now I can invite you over to our house! Where we have a big dog and two cats.

High in Demand said...

Jennifer!!!! CONGRATUALTIONS!!!!!!!!!!! I feel so terrible that you had to go through all that! Freedom at last from your enemy!
I do have to say of course that your post made me crack up a dozen times. You are probably my wittiest friend.