Random Picture Time!!!

Okay, I call the next few pictures my "Bored at Work and Have Nothing Better To Do Than Take Pictures of Myself" series. And this is obviously before I dyed my hair dark.





For the last couple of years, the kids and I have not had a Christmas tree. Last year, Kalista drew a picture of a Christmas tree and we taped it to the wall and put our presents underneath it. In fact, it's still there on my wall. I guess I should take it down. Well, I was telling Tony about this and since this is his first Christmas with us, he wanted to get us a real Christmas tree. So that's what he did. And I guess his manly providing instinct kicked in when he went to buy the tree because he bought the biggest dangest tree there. It's crazy huge. I literally have grass stains on my ceiling because it drags against it. Here is a picture of the tree. If you've ever wondered what a Christmas tree on steroids looks like, here it is.


This is the tree after Tony and my children decorated it all. It sure is pretty.

And messy. I call these tree droppings.

This is my brother, Armando, and his son, Mason. You may remember Mason from the picture with Jaxon. The reason they're almost completely naked is they were swimming at my mom's house. But if you look carefully, my brother does have on shorts. Keeping it PG here.
I just think this is a beautiful picture. I love sleeping babies. A couple of months ago, I entered this photo into one of those pretty baby contests. I didn't tell my brother or his wife because I didn't think he would really win. I mean, there were like over 5,000 photos submitted. Anyway, it ended up Mason did win. Not first place, but like in the top 25. Well, the company wanted to print Mason's picture in a book they were publishing but they needed permission to do it. So then I had to tell my brother and sister-in-law that I had submitted their baby's photo into a contest without asking. They took it pretty okay I think. I'm sure they'll let me in the same room as their son Christmas 2009.



This is the puppy that my children's father gave them for Christmas. Isn't he so sweet to give them something that can't control its own bowels, smells like sweat, and loves to chew on everything? Yes, so sweet of him. I'm praying for a forgiving heart this Christmas.



I took this picture of Xander when we went to the donut shop one morning and he was in an extra good mood. He absolutely loves his Ben 10 toy too. Can you tell?
Here, he isn't in such a good mood. He was very sick and had to stay home from school for a couple of days. He gets to sleep in our bed when his temperature is above 101. I have strict rules.

Merry Christmas everybody!!

Letters to Santa

Last year I told the kids Santa isn't real. They both took it okay and didn't make a big deal out of it. Well, when Christmas started getting closer Xander told me that he knows Santa is real and he believes in him. I tried to tell him that there is no Santa but he wouldn't believe me. Kind of weird. It's usually the other way around.

I've asked both of the kids to make a Christmas list. Kalista was quick to list about 10 things she wanted but Xander didn't want to write down anything. He said that he already told Santa what he wanted so he didn't need to tell him again... Um, well, I still need to know. No matter how much I tried to get him to tell us what he wanted he stayed firm that Santa already knew.

Every year around Christmas time, the Clyde Elementary students write letters to Santa and then the letters get published in the newspaper. Xander didn't want to write one because he thought it was a waste of time. Kalista didn't want to write one because she knows Santa isn't real and thought it would be lying to write a letter. I finally gave up on Xander and told Kalista to just think of it as writing a Christmas letter to Jesus. That finally convinced her.

Today, I got to see what she wrote in her letter. Here it is (misspellings are intentional):

Dear Santa,

I Kalista K want Santa to heal Miles Wilson. Also, I would enjoy Santa to bring food and blankets for the hungry and cold. As for me, and easybake oven would be cool. A furry "Big Littlest Pet Shop" and Polly Pockets will fill me with joy. I also want to sport the new Hannah Montana gear and toys. Also in style is Tinkerbell clothing and shoes. I love to wear what is in style while enjoying sounds from a beautiful music box. I would like to spen my Christmas break watching the Tinkerbell movie and listening to cool CD's on my new Camprock Disc Player. It'll be awesome when you bring me these gifts. Thanks for last year. I know this one will be awesome.

Love, Kalista


I have to say, my little girl is unique.

New Hair

Today I went to get a couple of inches of dead and split ends trimmed off. Along with the trim, I did this:
I'm still not use to it. It's really dark and the bangs look funny on my face I think. What do you think???

(The first thing I thought was "I look like Ugly Betty." Which isn't bad because I love Ugly Betty.)






Confirmation: When Xander walked into my office, he said, "Momma, you're so pretty!" I told him thank you and said that I looked like a lady on t.v. I asked him which lady. He said, "The lady with the glasses." Then Anoe helped by saying, "Yeah! Ugly Betty!" So there you go. Confirmation that I'm not the only one who thinks I look like Ugly Betty.

Refund Please

The kids came home with their school pictures last week. I love school pictures. They're so convenient! I don't have to do anything except remember to dress them halfway decent and send some money with the kids to school. The part I don't like is that those pictures have gotten so dang expensive. Like ridiculous expensive. But they're usually worth it because the people taking the pictures are "professionals" or at least supposed to be.

LifeTouch is the company who does Clyde's school district's pictures so we don't really get a choice but to buy the pictures from them. Here is Xander's Pre-K school picture:
Isn't he absolutely adorable?! Now, I love the background in this picture. I think it goes great with his shirt and it looks outdoorsy; perfect for a little boy. He also has a great smile on his face. Not too much, but just enough where it doesn't look like a driver's license picture. Beautiful!

Okay, next year not so much. Now, I think my son is the most beautiful little boy ever at all times. And I thought there was no way he could look anything but adorable. But, evidently, LifeTouch found a way. This is Xander's Kindergarten school picture; or what we call around my house, Exhibit A:
I want to know what the heck happened here! I see that they went with the outdoorsy background again. But because the background blends with my son's hair, his head seems to be cone-shaped. I don't even know what to say about the grimace (yes, grimace. that's the closest word that can describe it) on his face. If a stranger were to see this photo, they might think Xander is some kind of growling wolf-boy. I wondered why the photographer did not do a retake. I also wondered why I didn't get a proof so that I would know better than to pay $30 for this debacle. When he brought this picture home, I just prayed that next year would improve.

Well, it didn't. Here's Exhibit B:
Again, why didn't they do a retake?! I know that all those pictures are taken with a digital camera. And why did they choose a blue background when he's wearing a blue shirt?? Did they wait til the exact moment when he was making a weird face that makes him look like he has a face defect???

Okay, LifeTouch, you are officially on My List. It's not a good list. It's a list of people who I want to break their kneecaps. Seriously! C'mon! What kind of photographer takes these pictures? And then makes a parent pay almost $40 for them!!!!!! Extortion, I say, extortion!!

Anyway, I'm obviously really upset about this. I just hate that I'm spending money on things that I will never, ever show to anyone because I am so embarrassed of them (except here to show as proof of the inexcusableness of the photos). These pictures just do not do my son's beautiful face justice. I'm currently lodging complaints with LifeTouch and demanding a refund.

Ajanoeruiuaoneo hak;dsfuo nen;h

That's how I feel right now. I am so getting married today!!! AAAHHHHHHhahahaha!!!!!! I have a thousand things to do and none of them include blogging!! Pray peace for me and lots and lots of calming thoughts.

Next time I blog, I'll be a married woman!

Random Picture Time!!!

This picture is from almost a year ago when Women of Worth went to Six Flags. That was so much fun! I embarrassed Pam, Cherith, & Pam's sister there. Good times, good times.



This is on a big electric thing at the Jr. High. When I read it, I just had to stop and take a picture because I thought it was flipping funny. So whatever you do, do NOT molest this machine.



We were in the waiting room waiting (go figure) for the dr. to call us back and I told Tony to make a funny face. So he did. He looks kind of monkey-ish.




Xander and Kalista's first time on horses. Xander is very much more excited than Kalista. I had to force Kalista to smile and stay on the horse. Evidently she thought it was a bit lame to ride a horse smaller than her. Whatevs. (After I posted this, I looked at the picture of Xander and it looked like he's flipping the bird. But he's not. He's giving the Rock sign. Just to let you know)



This is Mason, my nephew, and Jaxon, Rachel's "baby" Mason and Jaxon are about 4 weeks apart. I love this picture.



Taking pictures of kids asleep on road trips is so much fun!! Especially when they pile on each other and look really funny.



This a very creepy "art" piece in downtown Abilene. We found it because we were looking for Tim & Stephanie's wedding and went to the totally wrong place. Don't ever get married at this place. It's creepy.

Mini Update

Everything got figured out with the whole finance debacle. Thank goodness.

I lost my keys to the church (again) and found them (again).

I'm getting married this Friday (yikes!).

I had the most awesome Bridal Shower EVER!!! Thanks to Amanda and Wendy (and hostesses). Y'all rock!

This past Sunday's worship was phenomenal. Seriously. I cried and ruined my makeup. They weren't tears of joy or sadness. I cried because I was just overwhelmed by God's presence and goodness. I felt so in-tuned with Him during worship. During the first song I started praying for God to shape me, to mold me, into the kind of wife He wants me to be. I want to be the kind of wife that is biblical, not worldly. When they were singing "Fire Fall Down" I prayed for God's fire to fall down on my life and my spirit. For His fire to burn away everything that is rotten, ugly, dysfunctional, selfish and just not of Him; and that the only thing that remains is the stuff that makes a Godly woman, wife, and mother. I prayed for my actions, thoughts, emotions, words, life at home and work to line up with God's heart. And as if God spoke to me personally through worship, they began singing "Where you go, I go. What you say, I say. What you pray, I pray." With that song, a whole new fresh batch of tears started flowing. It has been so long that I felt God so evidently and so tangibly.

I don't know if anyone has worried about their own marriage as much as I have about my own. Maybe I've been worried too much, or maybe it's completely normal. I don't know. All I know is that for the last several weeks I have been worrying myself sick about my marriage. I didn't know if it was the right thing, if it would last, if I was making a mistake, if we would love each other forever, if I could be faithful, if I could be the kind of wife I wanted to be, if Tony could take care of us, if Tony would decide one day that he made a mistake, if Godzilla came and terrorized Clyde, if if if if if..... I have just made myself sick with everything.

And last Sunday during worship I felt God so close to me, surrounding me with His love and securing me in His embrace, silently assuring me that no matter what He will take care of me and love me and never let me go. Not once. Not even to joke around and pretend like He's going to drop me. (yeah, like that's so much fun to anyone but the person who is doing the "joking") All I could do was lift my hands to Him and sing my praise to Him as tears continued to stream down my cheeks with a smile on my face.

P.S. Pray for Amanda. She's stressing out about the wedding more than I am. She's silly like that.

What the H-E-Double Hockeysticks!!

I am so frustrated right now!! I feel like punching somebody's cat. Seriously!

I got a call from my bank, Bank of America (BoA) on Sunday letting me know that they noticed "unusual activity" in my account with my debit card. The rep asked me to verify the last 3 transactions that were made and none of them were made by me. I don't really even use that bank anymore since I started an account with First Financial (FFB) here in Clyde. I mean I only had like 33 cents in there. There ended up being 6 fraudulent transactions in all. Four $1 charges for apple itunes, one $433 charge for apple.com, and one $117 charge for nerds.net.

So I spent about 45 minutes talking to the rep to get everything figured out. She canceled my debit card and ordered a new one for me. She also said that their "security" team will be pursuing this. They'll be getting all the information together about the transactions to file a case against whoever is making these charges and then send me affidavits on each fraudulent charge. Then they'll credit my account back all the money.

Then this morning I checked my FFB account and there were charges on there for apple itunes! I wanted to scream! How is this even happening? I called FFB, got that debit card canceled, and reordered. So, this means that both of my bank accounts are un-usable right now and I only have 2 stinking weeks to my wedding!! What the heck!?!

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.

I should be working instead of blogging but I'm not so read something kind of funny.

Last Saturday the kids were outside playing. When I looked out the window to check on them, I noticed that Xander only had socks on with no shoes. I asked him why he didn't have any socks and to come inside and put some shoes on. I asked him, "Do you know how much those socks cost?"

Xander said: "Uummm, 60 thousand?"

I said, "Yes, 60 thousand. So don't ruin them."


We were at Tony's mom's house and she had a crucifixion hanging on the wall. When Xander saw it he said, "Mom, did you know that God died?"

I said, "Well, that's actually Jesus. Jesus died then was resurrected."

Xander said, "Actually, (and the way he says actually sounds like he's saying ashley) Jesus is his nickname."

I said, "I did not know that."

Guess What!!

So, guess what is back on?


This is the invitation I made that I'll be mailing out next week. Yes, I know it's proper etiquette to send out invitations at least 6 weeks prior to the wedding, but since we just decided to get married on the original date again yesterday, it doesn't leave me the etiquette amount of time. So, if there are any Martha Stewarts out there, suck it up.

You can click on the picture to see it in more detail. Or just wait until you get your invite.

Clearwire and You

I have Clearwire internet at home. I do not have a working computer at home. I still have to pay for the internet.

So....

If anyone would like to have Clearwire internet in their home for $42 a month, please let me know. Clearwire is wireless so the modem can be moved to anywhere that Clearwire is available (yes, i've said Clearwire 5 times and no, this is not a product placement ad) and still work properly.

Battle

I have been battling with a lot of self-esteem issues lately. I'm not really sure why. Maybe it has to do with the time of the year. Maybe it has to do with me being tired of see everyone else looking so cute in their summer clothes. Maybe it's hormones. I don't know. Anyway, I have been making mental lists of what I don't like about myself or things I don't do well. This morning, I was getting dressed, brushing my teeth, putting on my make up, doing my hair and all the while still checking off all things I don't like. Then I began thinking of how Brandon said you can't fix a problem with the same level of consciousness that created it. So what I am going to do is make a list of the things I like about myself. Here it is for your viewing pleasure.

1. My nose ring
2. The kind of mother I am
3. I remember my 3 bank account numbers, 3 debit card numbers, my SSN, both kids SSNs, my child support case number, and most of the Methodist congregation's addresses & phone numbers
4. My name
5. My handwriting
6. My sense of style
7. My embarrassing moments
8. My tattoos
   
9. The scar on my right knee
10. My ears (i like that I have lobes, but not too much of them)
11. The suntan line from my watch on my left wrist

This is what I have so far. I'm going to write this list down on a little piece of paper and keep it in my pocket so I can remind myself of the things that aren't so obvious.

The Latest Edition of Jennifer's Drama

Allright, I've had my breather. I'm ready.

My wedding is back on but not for the originally planned date. We have officially rescheduled for March 20, 2009. Anyone who has a Save-the-Date card from me, throw it away. There were many issues in our relationship that both of us were trying to ignore but somehow, they were still coming up. You know, Denial is not a river in Egypt....

A factor in our postponement is finances. It's actually one of the biggest ones. It was almost 2 months to the wedding and we still hadn't bought half of the things needed. So pushing it back another 6 months will allow us more breathing room in this department. Our two other main issues relationship-wise are trust and control. Crazy how those go hand-in-hand. We're working on those right now also. I'd appreciate prayers, encouragement, helpful hints, or whatever else positive tid-bits that could help us from y'all. I also want to say Thank You to everyone while I was going through another bout of drama. But I mean, it's me. What else do you expect?

Oh, and I mention the person(s) once again who left me groceries in my kitchen (also known as Breaking & Entering, but I won't tell anyone). I don't think they got proper recognition when I blogged about it the first time because right after that I dropped a bomb shell on everyone. So, anyway, shout out to whoever you are!!

Please

Okay, I'd like to ask for people to not ask about my latest drama. There's no easy one line answer. And really I just don't feel like talking about. The reason I put it on here was so that I could avoid telling people that there is no wedding and so I wouldn't have to answer a lot of questions I'm not ready to answer. I know I probably sound rude, harsh, or like a bitch, but right now I just don't have a lot of politeness and fake-nice in me. Something major in my life has just died and I am just trying to deal with it. I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings. Really.

Un-Save the Date

I don't really feel like getting into it or talking about it. Just suffice it to say that November 7th is no longer reserved. Feel free also to let everyone know. I am not wanting to call everyone personally and talk about it.

Mystery Groceries

I love the way God blesses me without even asking. I found these in my kitchen Friday when I got home from work.
My family was needing groceries seriously. But I didn't just get groceries, there was laundry soap, shampoo & conditioner, dish soap, paper towels and even little snacks for the kids. The kids loved that because I hardly ever get them stuff just for them. I don't know who left these groceries for us (good thing i leave my doors unlocked. ssshhhhh! don't tell anyone that!). The only clue I do have is a piece of paper left in one of the bags that I think they used to write the grocery list on. Here is Exhibit B:
So, if anyone out there knows who the "culprit" is, please tell them thank you and I greatly appreciate it. I love Mystery Groceries!!

Top 10

Top 10 Reasons why I love Trish:

1. She loves to give
2. She has style that is unusual and beautiful
3. Her tortillas rock the house
4. She has a knack of hearing God and not being afraid of sharing His wisdom
5. She's organic and went green before it was cool
   
6. She is totally in love with her husband
7. She is a closet "Walton Family" fanatic
8. She loves Aang, Sokka, Katara, Toff, Appa, Momo, and Zuko just as much as I do
9. She's not afraid to let me know when I'm wrong but in a nice, non confrontational way
10. She has great boobs!!

So, Trish, I love you and Happy Birthday today!!

Golden Corral & Zombies (who knew there was a connection?)

On Wednesday, I took off from work because I had a few doctor appointments. Tony took off of work also so he could drive me home after one of them. Since we were both off, we took the kids with us and ran some errands before the first dr. appt. First we went to go eat because we were all super hungry. We all decided on Golden Corral since it's so much cheaper during the day and they still have really awesome food. What we didn't know that so many old people eat at Golden Corral during the day. I mean, the place was packed with slow, wrinkly, old people who all evidently had emphysema because someone was constantly hacking up something. Really gross. But that's a whole other post...

Anyway, when the kids and I went up to the buffet to get food we kept having to wait because there would be a youth-challenged person in front of us or we would have to stop abruptly because a sight/hearing-challenged person would stop suddenly.

When Xander wanted seconds of his spaghetti (he says it 'pee-ghetti'), I let him go up there and get it himself. I was a little confused when I saw him racing back weaving in between all the age-advanced people with no food on his plate. When he got to the table he practically yelled, "Sister! Sister! I got a new game!! You run through this place really fast, but if you touch any of the old people YOU LOSE!" It was so dang hard for me to not bust out laughing. Good thing most of those people couldn't hear anyway because he was talking SO loud! I didn't really know what to say. Is that a bad game? I don't know. I just told him that isn't a good game because he isn't supposed to run inside.

But Xander doesn't stop there. On the way out he bumped into an old man who was not dressed so hip, a little bent over, and was just shuffling along. Xander looked up and yelled, "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! ZOMBIE!!" and then took off running out the door. I don't think it fazed that guy any because he didn't stop and just kept on going towards the buffet line.

Now, that time did embarrass the heck out of me. I can only pray that he has a child that embarrasses him on such a regular basis as he does me. We might not be going back to Golden Corral for a while....

Life Lessons

Ugh! I have puppies! I am totally not an animal person. But Tony and (evidently) my kids are. So, now I have two very adorable and messy puppies at my house. One is supposed to be Alexis' but since they can't have pets where they live, I am keeping hers until they move or something. UGH!!

So, now I have two puppies. The kids are all excited about finally being able to have a pet that breathes and they can touch. (the ant farm didn't allow for much contact). But they are also finding out that having cute little rambunctious puppies isn't 24-hour nonstop fun. I make the kids feed and water the puppies, pay attention to them, and clean up after them.

The only fun part for me so far has been picking out the names. One puppy is white with tan spots and the other one is completely black. The white one is ours and the black is "owned" by Alexis. Alexis decided to name her puppy Shadow. It's cool because it fits.

Xander wanted to name ours Coco.

Why, you may ask? No clue. I think maybe after a character from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. Anyway, I didn't care much for that name so Tony suggested we all come up with 3 name-candidates for the puppy. These are the ones we came up with:

Kalista:
1. John
2. Michael
3. Joseph
(I'm not sure if she thought this puppy would turn into her son or something.)

Xander:
1. Jaren
2. Eggan
3. E
(completely different from kalista's choices. and xander tried to pick Jaren again for his 3rd choice but i told him that was not allowed.)

Tony:
1. Plankton
2. Courage
3. Ustis
(he's as bad as the kids with cartoons.)

Jennifer:
1. Milo
2. Patrick
3. Sokka
(i can't help that i watch a lot of nickelodeon)

Through a lot of voting and dialing in to the American Idol vote counters, we finally decided on Courage. (from Courage the Cowardly Dog). No one really calls him that though. Kalista calls him Baby and Xander just calls him Dog. I don't call him anything because I don't want him near me. I don't know what it is. I just don't like animals very much. Maybe it's the fact that I have an allergic reaction every time one of them touches me. I don't know.

Anyway, the life lesson that has come out of this whole situation is that the kids are learning what responsibility is. This morning when Kalista & Xander came to my work, I asked if they had checked on the puppies yet. They said no so I told them to go make sure they're okay and if they need food or water. Begrudgingly, the started walking back to the house.

As they were walking out, Kalista said, "I love them and all but they sure are a lot of work."

Then I had a great idea. So, now I am thinking of buying them each a puppy as soon as they get into high school so it will give them an idea of what a baby would be like to take care of. Genius!!

Looking for Space to Rent

Since I have brought home my wedding dress, it has been stored on my bed, my closet, my closet door, my living room bar, etc etc etc. Also, I keep messing with it. I've already tried it on twice.

Here's the thing: I need somewhere to put it. It's so huge and my closet isn't. I'd like to put it somewhere where it won't get messed with a lot and is out of the way, somewhere where I can't fondle it every time I see it. So, if anyone has an extra closet or extra space I can hang it for the next 3 months, I'd be willing to rent it.

What's in a Name?

One day when Tony and Xander were playing, Xander said, "What's that Daddy?" Tony said he acted like it was no big deal and so did Xander. It made me feel a little uncomfortable for Xander to call him that. He doesn't usually call him Daddy or anything but it did get me to thinking.

I don't really mind the kids calling Tony Daddy but then I think about them calling Marcos' girlfriend Mommy. Makes me want to punch something. So, I've been trying to think of another name for Tony, like an affectionate name for him the kids could call him that isn't "Daddy". I thought of maybe Papa because that's what I used to call my father. Tony said he was okay with it.

Amanda gave some really good advice on the subject. She said to talk to the kids and see what they think and see if they want to come up with a name they would like to call Tony. I decided to talk to Kalista about it first.

Me: So, Kalista. I wanted to talk to you about something.
Kalista: Am I in trouble?
Me: No! It's about Tony. I was thinking that y'all might want to call him something different than Tony. Like I used to call my father Papa. You could call Tony that.
Kalista: Eh.
Me: Well, can you think of something else?
Kalista: What about Daddy? We could call him Daddy.
Me: Hhhmmmm...well, what about something different.
Kalista: Okay, what about Dad.
Me: Okay, let's think about this and talk about it later.

I don't know if I am just am being weird about this or if it's even necessary for them to come up with a name for Tony. I just feel like it would be better to have a more affectionate, familial name instead of his first name. I would really like some advice/opinions on this.

God is Good

Things have been a little bit tight financially lately. Things have just not been falling into place for the last couple of months. We went on vacation in June and I saved up money for that, but I still spent more than I should have. Tony didn't get a job as soon as we thought he would. I started paying my student loans and Tony's bills when he moved over here. I don't know if anyone else has noticed but full grown men eat a lot. So there was extra groceries. And then I accidentally paid my phone and car insurance twice this month which caused my account to be seriously overdrawn. Through all of this I hadn't been trusting God very much (not just with financial stuff as you know from my previous post).

But just since my spiritual break through last week, things have really started to change in all areas. I've been on the phone everyday trying to get the whole phone and car insurance mess figured out and today I finally saw the first refund to my bank account which made it go back into the black. Yay!! (Red numbers are never good when it comes to money.) Then I called my mom and asked if what she thought about sponsoring one of my kids for school supplies. I was really nervous about asking her because she usually doesn't do stuff like that. But she told me that she had already planned on buying BOTH of the kids' school supplies!! Yay x2!! All I had to worry about then was school clothes. Thankfully because my wonderful sister has two daughters with an overabundance of clothes, I am able to get some for Kalista for free. So now it's just Xander to find clothes for. He's a little harder. I looked at Goodwill for clothes for him but they just didn't have very much for boys. Rachel said it's most likely because boys are so much rougher on clothes so they don't get to make it to the secondhand shops. It was also hard because I just don't know very many people who have boys. Except Rachel! So I called her to see if her boys have any old clothes that she would mind giving me for Xander. She said she would look through the stuff she has and let me know.

Well, today at work I was looking out my window when Rachel pulled up. When she came into my office, she handed me some money telling me it was to buy Xander some school clothes. She said God told her to do it. I love Rachel so much. She is always so giving and a lot more graceful than I am. Over the years, her and Aaron have helped my family so many times. My heart is to one day be able to give like they do, and so many other people in our church family.

I really believe that all these blessings, and the ones still to come, are because I am dying to my will and letting His live in me. Even though I am scared, I am letting God take my hand and lead me. God is just so good. He saw my little need and took care of me when I finally let Him.

Vacay pictures

Yes, I know. I have taken waaaaay too long to post these. But it's not like I have anything else going on right now... So here for your viewing pleasure are some random pictures from our vacation to Crystal Beach.


Tony taking a picture of me taking a picture of him. (with my hair in the way)

Me taking a picture of Tony taking a picture of me.

I don't know what this is but it looks gross and cool at the same time. Tony just told me that it was a piece of wood with a bunch of clams on it. I'll take his word for it.

This is the view from the front door of our beach house. Try to ignore the wet, dirty towels and swimsuit.

Our feet joined in love.

I didn't know Tony took this picture of me. But I do like it. I look kinda mysterious...

These are neat statues of horns that are attached to a museum in Galveston. They were given to the city of Galveston from some famous jazz artist after a devastating hurricane that destroyed most of downtown Galveston. Okay, that's about the only educational thing you'll ever read in my blog.


Wet, sandy, salty, sticky hair. Yuck. I was about to spit too. Definitely not a glamor shot.

Xander is so cute!! I just love his smiles. But there has to be a reason why he is smiling so big...

And here it is ladies & gentlemen. Tim doesn't know that Xander's foot is so close to his open mouth. Hee Hee hee! That's why you should never be the first one to fall asleep!

Tony took this picture because he thought the seaweed looked like the shape of a heart. He's a romantic like that.

Tony looks really cool with that pink towel and my sunglasses on.

No Tony's were harmed in the making of these pictures.

I just like this picture because Xander looks like he's stabbing Kalista in the head.

One of the very FEW times Kalista & Xander were getting along on the road trip.

We saw this on the way down to Crystal Beach. It was so funny to see a huge semi-truck with this little Tonka Truck strapped to it's bed.

The Work In Me

God has been doing some MAJOR renovation in my heart, soul, and mind. I mean like some deep-rooted identity stuff. I know it's supposed to be good but dang it's hard when you're in the middle of it all.

Evidently, I have some "control" issues. I know, I know. That must be a shock to some of you. Especially you Amanda. But it's true. Really. Because of how my past relationship ended up, I am trying to control every little tiny bit of this one, which, in turn, is making it a lot harder than it should be.

I am starting to see organization once again in this mess I made. Why is it so hard to just let go and let God handle things? I don't get it. He's proven Himself trustworthy before time and time again, so why is it so hard for my flesh to trust Him to be who He said He is? In some areas, I have complete trust in God. But in other areas, such as relationships, I had a death grip on my control. But now that I have started loosening up, I have already seen changes. Isn't it so weird how that works?

Tony moved out Monday to a friend's house in Abilene. I know that it was the plan a long for him to live with someone else, but it still is a little sad to see him take all his stuff with him. I am just going to continue praising God and thank Him for taking care of every need we have. Even the ones I don't know about.

And the LORD said...

One day while the kids were playing in the little swimming pool in my backyard, Tony and I were sitting nearby just talking about nothing when I started hearing Xander tell Anoe the story of Ton & I's relationship. It went like this:

Xander: My mom used to be with my dad. but now they're not. my dad just leave. Then my mom is with Tony. Then they're gonna get married. Then the Lord says, "You may kiss the bride."

So, there you have it. The Lord says so.

Engagement Photos

We finally got our engagement pictures taken. And, in my personal opinion, they turned flipping awesome. Here are a few of my faves. And, yes, I forgot to take off my dang watch.