Saturday, August 09, 2008

What's in a Name?

One day when Tony and Xander were playing, Xander said, "What's that Daddy?" Tony said he acted like it was no big deal and so did Xander. It made me feel a little uncomfortable for Xander to call him that. He doesn't usually call him Daddy or anything but it did get me to thinking.

I don't really mind the kids calling Tony Daddy but then I think about them calling Marcos' girlfriend Mommy. Makes me want to punch something. So, I've been trying to think of another name for Tony, like an affectionate name for him the kids could call him that isn't "Daddy". I thought of maybe Papa because that's what I used to call my father. Tony said he was okay with it.

Amanda gave some really good advice on the subject. She said to talk to the kids and see what they think and see if they want to come up with a name they would like to call Tony. I decided to talk to Kalista about it first.

Me: So, Kalista. I wanted to talk to you about something.
Kalista: Am I in trouble?
Me: No! It's about Tony. I was thinking that y'all might want to call him something different than Tony. Like I used to call my father Papa. You could call Tony that.
Kalista: Eh.
Me: Well, can you think of something else?
Kalista: What about Daddy? We could call him Daddy.
Me: Hhhmmmm...well, what about something different.
Kalista: Okay, what about Dad.
Me: Okay, let's think about this and talk about it later.

I don't know if I am just am being weird about this or if it's even necessary for them to come up with a name for Tony. I just feel like it would be better to have a more affectionate, familial name instead of his first name. I would really like some advice/opinions on this.


Cherryberry said...

Aha! the ole two daddy thing. Mason walked into the bathroom one day after Mike and I had been together for about a year and just called him Daddy out of the blue. ( Some of you may be really wondering now. No, Mike is not Mason's biological, but for all intents and purposes he is his Daddy. He takes care of him on a daily basis, good and bad. He calls my ex husband Daddy Lee and everyone seems to get along about it fine.0
Maybe they could try Daddy Tony or whatever makes them comfortble. I am not sure how Marcos will hndle this, but he will have to understand that he is not there everyday and there will be times that they need a daddy figure.
It is something that with blended families does always work itself out. Just pray about it and even talk to Tony and Marcos about it.
Love you

trish said...

Daddy T

Anonymous said...

Big Papa-I can hear Xander saying it now...hehehehe. I'm sorry, I know this is serious, I just couldn't resist putting the suggestion out there. You guys will come up with the perfect solution.

Ashlee said...

I think the best thing to do is let the kids call him what they are comfortable with...especially because they will be living with you and you and Tony.

I would be surprised if they call Tony's girlfriend "Mom" but the truth is that there may not be anything you can do about it. I think the best way to think about it is that they should feel comfortable loving all the adults in their life and using affectionate names that are comfortable for them.