Esperanza

Hope (or esperanza).

I have so much hope in me. Everyday I have a million hopes. Usually I am literally terrified of hoping because of the possibility of it never materializing. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to hope for something and not be scared. I don't want to be a beaten down, eyes always downcast, hope barren woman anymore. I want to be a confident, assured, beaming glory of God's awesome power kind of woman. I want to be the kind of woman I always stare at and wish I could be. These are my hopes; silly, serious, and everything in between.

1. I hope to be like Jesus
2. I hope my children see Jesus in me
3. I hope I feel Jesus' love everyday
4. I hope to get a pedicure one day
5. I hope to have another baby grow in my womb
6. I hope to take pictures of flowers for no reason
7. I hope to be used by God
8. I hope to know I am beautifully made
9. I hope my children will find a perfect love
10. I hope to rip out the nasty carpet in my kitchen
11. I hope to organize my desk at home
12. I hope I get Satellite TV & DVR
    
13. I hope I lose 80 lbs in one year
14. I hope my children will remember me as a loving mother and not a screaming/hateful/mean mother
15. I hope I have 50 more years with my mother
16. I hope my father knows I have forgiven him
17. I hope my heart isn't broken any more
18. I hope God doesn't give up on me
19. I hope Marcos finds God's love
20. I hope my sister will see herself as I see her in all her godly beauty
21. I hope I see Jesus
22. I hope I see Jesus heal Miles
23. I hope I get a "real" decor for my home
24. I hope to walk towards a man God picked for me and vow the rest of my life to
    
25. I hope I learn not to be disappointed in myself
26. I hope I get an MP3 player for Christmas
27. I hope someone invents fat/calorie free french fries in the next year
28. I hope that Tom Cruise sees how silly he has been acting and follows Jesus so I can start watching his movies again
29. I hope to understand the Bible more (or at all)
30. I hope I don't have to do this alone very much longer
31. I hope God puts a supernatural understanding of Science and Math in me before January
    
32. I hope my body will be completely healed of any affliction
33. I hope my mom never finds out about all the stuff I did in high school
34. I hope the tree in my front yard does not fall on top of my house or car or KIDS
35. I hope I don't have any late fines at the library
36. I hope there are more good Christian movies
37. I hope that Brad Pitt quits his silliness, leaves that old Angelina, and realizes I am his one true love...wait, I think that's bad to want to break up a family...darn it, never mind.
38. I hope God shows enormous favor on all the children of the world who are in horrific situations (i don't mean like they don't have an xbox or even having to shop at walmart).

I have plenty more hopes. They've been stored up for a while. I don't want to leave here just hoping; I want to leave knowing. I know I am a confident, assured, beaming glory of God's awesome power kind of woman. I know I am the kind of woman I always stare at and wish I could be. I KNOW I am God's beautiful creation.

What do you esperanza for?