My So-Called Life

So, hey, everybody. What's up!

Sorry about taking another leave of absence but this life of mine has been keeping me busy. The holidays were great. I spent most of them with my boyfriend (insert girly giggle here). New Year's Day, the kids & I went to San Angelo. We spent the day playing in the park and making good memories. I was so flippin tired by the time I had to drive the 95 miles home. Thank goodness God loves me and made sure I stayed awake.

So, anyway, let's talk about what is on my heart. I mean, hey, you came to my blog for a reason right? I am in a full-blown relationship. It's really weird to me. Well, first let me tell you how it all began.

I first met Tony (that's his name, not just some random person) when we were in High School in Sweetwater. He was in a grade below me and I didn't pay much attention to him. We talked once. I didn't know it at the time, but we graduated together because Tony is super smart and graduated early. I didn't know all this until he told me, so it could all be a lie for all I know. Just kidding. He doesn't lie. I like that. Anyway! I digress... I tend to do that when I am talking about Tony. Don’t tell him I said that!

A year or so after graduation (1999) we worked at the same Texaco in Sweetwater. I was a little bit engaged at the time; but then got un-engaged after a few things came to light. Unfortunately, I was in total Rebound mode and picked Tony as the first guy to date. We dated for a couple of months but I seemed unable to stop sleeping around. After one particularly messy & law breaking incident, we finally decided to call it quits.

I met Marcos a few weeks later and promptly got myself knocked up with Kalista. When Kalista was about 6 months old, I left Marcos and moved to Abilene. Somehow, (I don’t remember) Tony & I started dating again. But, once again, I was in Rebound mode and couldn’t stop dating other people (at least I had stopped sleeping with them). About 6 weeks later, Marcos & I got back together and promptly got myself knocked up with Xander (noticing a pattern here?). Tony was always so sweet to me and I really just treated him like crap. I was so totally different back then. There were things I did that I have prayed for God to erase from my memory.

We kind of talked a little bit a few years later but never really started dating again. The last time I talked to him was four years ago in 2004.

So in November Tony sent me a message on myspace. I had forgotten all about having a page on there. He just asked me how I was doing and what kinds of things were going on in my life. We talked a little online for the next couple of weeks, but I didn’t really think anything about it. I was still trying to distance myself from another relationship that no one really knows about. Sorry, I haven’t been totally honest with y’all. Anyway, let’s move on and never keep any secrets again. Whoo! I feel so much better now that I got that out in the open.

Because we are both from Sweetwater and both our parents still live there, we were both in Sweetwater for Thanksgiving. I asked him if he wanted to hang out. He said yes. So we did at my mom’s house. Then we went driving around looking at Christmas lights for about an hour and I dropped him off at his friend’s house. We talked on the phone for that week and then we both “happened” to be in S’water again that weekend. We cruised around town and then I dropped him off at his friend’s house again. We continued talking on the phone. We stayed up talking on the phone until 1 or 2 in the morning. It was like I was in high school again. Our conversations usually ended by one of our cell phone batteries dying. I found out a lot of stuff I didn’t know and stuff I had forgotten about. Evidently, Tony remembered every single conversation we ever had. He remembered my favorite flower, my favorite color, my middle name, Kalista’s birthday & middle name, foods I didn’t like, my bad driving skills….

He just makes me feel so… so… I don’t know so something. He makes me feel unashamed.

Oh! Oh! Oh! The best part of this whole thing! We have NOT had sex!!! Most people would not understand how big of a thing this is for me. Sex to me has been like a weird addiction in the past. I hated it but couldn’t stop. This is literally the longest I have ever waited, even since my first time. I know that’s crazy to some people, but it’s this sick cycle I have. But this is how I know this is real with Tony.

My kids are totally in love with him too. Kalista loves to sit next to him and hold on to him. Xander loves to climb all over him and fights with Kalista to sit next to him. He doesn’t act weird with them or make me feel like it’s anything but natural to have them around. He comes up with stuff for us all to do together (he doesn’t have any kids and lives with two other guys with no kids).

I went back over my prayer list for what I wanted in a husband. All those things are there. Every single one. Even the color of his eyes. God is SO good.
This is my kids & Tony chillin at Little Pit. Hopefully, I can get a picture of us together one day.