How many changes and turns can my life possibly take? I have been much more introverted than usual lately. Actually thinking about the effect my actions have on other people. I don't want to be who I use to be anymore. Not even who I used to be last week. It just seems like every day I am growing out my old skin and stretching my newest one. This probably seems really confusing to whoever is reading this...
A couple of weeks ago I was talking to a friend I used to date. I had moved on from that whole thing, but evidently he hadn't. He was mad at me about things I said and lied about, things I did and lied about. I was struggling with what to do. I told him that I was very sorry that I hurt him, but I am not who I was back then. He wanted to argue about why what I did was wrong but I really didn't want to. I didn't want to focus on everything that I messed up on; I didn't want to visit those old feelings again. I have CHANGED! Anyone who knows me knows I am not the same. It had been almost 2 years since any of that stuff happened and 2 years since I changed. I was frustrated because I wanted the world to move on with me, not be stuck in the mess I created. Understandably, he was upset that I wasn't. I just began to feel like trying to change was futile because it always came back around anyway.
Why do I give in to the lies the devil feeds me so easy? If I could, I would give the devil a serious indian burn! (should that be called a native-american burn in the pc world???) Totally ridiculous how easy it is for the devil. He's so lame.
Oh, I just realized that my title has nothing to do with what I blogged about.
3 years ago