Sunday, March 18, 2007

Onions

How many changes and turns can my life possibly take? I have been much more introverted than usual lately. Actually thinking about the effect my actions have on other people. I don't want to be who I use to be anymore. Not even who I used to be last week. It just seems like every day I am growing out my old skin and stretching my newest one. This probably seems really confusing to whoever is reading this...

A couple of weeks ago I was talking to a friend I used to date. I had moved on from that whole thing, but evidently he hadn't. He was mad at me about things I said and lied about, things I did and lied about. I was struggling with what to do. I told him that I was very sorry that I hurt him, but I am not who I was back then. He wanted to argue about why what I did was wrong but I really didn't want to. I didn't want to focus on everything that I messed up on; I didn't want to visit those old feelings again. I have CHANGED! Anyone who knows me knows I am not the same. It had been almost 2 years since any of that stuff happened and 2 years since I changed. I was frustrated because I wanted the world to move on with me, not be stuck in the mess I created. Understandably, he was upset that I wasn't. I just began to feel like trying to change was futile because it always came back around anyway.

Why do I give in to the lies the devil feeds me so easy? If I could, I would give the devil a serious indian burn! (should that be called a native-american burn in the pc world???) Totally ridiculous how easy it is for the devil. He's so lame.

Oh, I just realized that my title has nothing to do with what I blogged about.

3 comments:

Tangerinetinselbreeze said...

Sure it does if you saw Shrek! You have many layers, you said yourself each new day you outgrow the old and need a new skin. Interesting that you want to burn the devil's skin while you are shedding yours.

I want you to know I was very blessed by the you of today- today when you prayed with me it was perfect- thank you for being obediant. You are not only called, you are chosen. I look forward to getting to know you and your new skin better at BFW 2007.

High in Demand said...

Jennifer, You are not the same person. I think the only thing you can do in those situations is say what you said, "I'm sorry I did those things. I'm the same person." If this sort of thing comes up again ask the person to forgive you. If he/she does wonderful. Then it's the past and behind you. If he/she will not then you can't do anything about it. There is therefore no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1 You are not the same woman. You are a daughter of the King. I'm very proud of you!

Pamelotta said...

You just don't realize how profound you really are. When you get ready to use an onion, you peel back all of the dried and crackly old layers on the outside until you get to the first one that you can tell is still alive. That's when you start cutting. Oops. I think I'll end that analogy right now.
Love you!