Okay, guys. Please please please pray for me. I am becoming increasingly more and more nervous about standing up in front of everyone and talking about my personal junk.
On another note, I had a personal breakthrough in my faith yesterday. I have a habit of calling someone, anyone to pray for me or with me whenever I come into a stressful situation. The first thing I do is pick up the phone to talk it out. Well yesterday I got into another argument with my kids' father. I was getting very angry, yelling at him, and then just hung up on him. After getting off the phone, I was crying, asking for God to somehow break Marcos' legs and heal my heartache. Then I started calling some of my friends to ask for advice and prayer. No one answered. Seriously, I called like 6 people but no one answered the phone. During all this, my emotions were a mess! I was feeling sorry for myself, angry at me and at Marcos, and just unstable. So, after the 6th person didn't answer, I finally yelled, "Fine!! I'll just do it myself!" I prayed about what the best thing would be to do and for me to have a listening ear.
I called him back and calmly told him that I was sorry for yelling and cussing, that we needed to just talk like rational adults instead of teenagers, and I wanted to explain to him why I was getting so upset. After that, the conversation was so much easier and I had such peace in my heart. He even opened up to me some.
I feel so sorry for my mother. If I am giving God such a hard time, can you imagine what it was like for her???